Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Jeans are important

If you want food commentary I'm sending you here today, because I have new jeans and I'm so excited I can hardly type straight. It's possible to live in America and not own a properly fitting pair of jeans, but let me tell you, it's horrible. I was three years in the desert trying to work the skirts. I had a too-tight pair of jeans that left welts on my belly when I could button them at all, and a saggy pair that made me feel like a molting snake. Not a long thin snake, a fat snake, like a boa constrictor. Hate those saggy jeans. Hate. 

Fixed all that today. Thank-you Bloomingdale's sale. It's like recovering from the flu, putting on a pair of perfectly fitting jeans. If you're wondering why it took me so long to do something so eminently sensible as shop for jeans in my actual size, you're clearly a sane woman who's never suffered the illusion that the diet starts tomorrow with complete physical transformation to follow. Or, you are a man. These were absurdly expensive jeans, even on sale. Worth it. I bought the boot-cut pair above* and also the gray ones below.

I know. They're skinny jeans. But I had to have them, Layne. Maybe this is my foolish midlife crisis purchase, the equivalent of the balding man's Porsche. But cheaper.

Okay. Satisfaction expressed. Back to food.

*That's not me. As if I really needed to tell you.


  1. You will look WAY better in those jeans than those ladies do. i hope you will have one of your kids photograph you in yours so we can admire your superior wearing of them.

    and skinny jeans!! you really did? i can only imagine wearing them, maybe, tucked into some boots. what shoes are you thinking you'll wear with them? i'm very curious. maybe you should photograph the shoe combos too.

  2. I agree--we need to see the shoes. I have started grudgingly accepting that they occasionally look good on people. It's like the whole dress-over-pants thing. I thought it was ridiculous, and now I find myself shopping for leggings to wear under my skirts, which is even more ridiculous!

    Those top jeans are hot, and I, a fellow desert dweller, am jealous.

  3. Damn! I have been 40 years in the desert, and I can tell you that the only place a pair of skinny jeans would fit me is on my forearm. Being a pear shape really sucks. I'm going to go console myself with one of those dried pear chocolates, just out of spite...