My lovely grandmother had a big birthday

Wedding china, inherited goblets, loud tablecloth.

My maternal grandmother turned 99 yesterday and we threw her a party. I guess I can say it, now that there's no one around to have hurt feelings: While I loved all my grandparents a lot, she was always my favorite.  When I was a child I used to worry she was going to die and I'd never see her again. I would get weepy when we said good-bye because she was so tiny and seemed so fragile.

She is even tinier now, but clearly she was not so fragile.

Keeping me company, pre-party.

Tonight she told me, "You look pretty and happy, but once you were very slim and that was wonderful."

Hmmph.

Some other pearls of wisdom gleaned over the years:

-"Don't chase the boys, let the boys come to you."

-"Latin boys think all American girls are fast."

-"Girls look very coquette when they wear a skirt that moves when they walk."

-"Couldn't you put on a little lipstick?"

-"Couldn't you put on a little rouge?"

-"Don't put your elbows on the table -- it makes them look old."

-"You need to make exercise."

-"You should wear dangly earrings."

And right she is. Usually.

I've made her sound shallow and hypercritical, which she isn't at all. She's just a Tiger Mother of the vintage Guatemalan variety.

The meal:

-Old-fashioneds. Because my grandmother likes them.

-Dorie Greenspan's tuna rillettes. Easy and fabulous. Tuna + creme fraiche + shallot + curry powder + a pinch of allspice, pureed in food processor and chilled. Serve with crackers.

-Greenspan's sweet and spicy nuts. HIT.

Brazil nuts, pistachios, pecans, cashews, almonds.

-Greenspan's mustard batons. Pepperidge Farm puff pastry spread with mustard and baked.

-Vadouvan mac n' cheese. Not a Greenspan recipe. I've made this rich and exotic and very delicious dish probably ten times now and it's ideal for parties because you can have it all ready ahead of time. The recipe is here. I can't recommend it more highly. My one piece advice would be to ignore the instructions with regards to the breadcrumb topping and do this instead: Put  6 ounces of crusty bread  (or rye bread) in the food processor and break it down to feathery bits. Heat 4 tablespoons of butter and fry the crumbs until crisp. Otherwise, the recipe is perfect. You can order vadouvan spice blend from Kalustyan's. I've tried making it, but it's better bought.

To complete the meal, my sister brought kale salad and two excellent cakes, including a domed green Princess cake.

Happy Birthday, Dita!

Flower barrettes. Very coquette.