Capital letters denote words spoken in anger.
Tipsy: Owen, it's time to feed the goats.
Owen: Why do I have to do EVERYTHING.
Tipsy: You don't. Just feed the goats.
Owen: Can you carry the bottles down?
Tipsy: You can carry the bottles.
Owen: But they're SO HEAVY.
Tipsy: I think you're strong enough.
Owen: I think I'm going to drop them.
Tipsy: Please don't drop them.
Owen: I'm going to drop them on the floor. I know I am. I won't be able to help it.
Tipsy: You're not going to drop them.
Owen: Yes I AM.
Tipsy: If you drop them I'M GOING TO THROW AWAY ALL YOUR LEGOS.
Owen IF I DROP THEM I'M GOING TO BLAME YOU.
Tipsy (opening a beer): Please, just go feed the goats.
He didn't drop the bottles. He fed the goats. And once outside, he happily futzed around for 45 minutes and came back chatty and agreeable. It was just the two of us. He ate cereal for dinner, we watched a back episode of Lost, and I let him go to sleep in my bed. I think we're all ready to wean these goats.
hilarious. also good parenting!ReplyDelete
they know it's time to stop the BS when they hear the bottlecap.
I constantly threaten to throw away legos too! I dread the day when I am acutally challenged to follow through. Legos are EXPENSIVE.ReplyDelete
Legos are the only currency my children understand.ReplyDelete
I threw the Legos away once, marched right out to the trash can with the bag and tossed them in. Then while my son was crying in his room, I called the neighbor and asked her to pull them out and hang on to them until her yard sale the next weekend, when he "bought" them back, because he had seen the error of his ways and was ready to straighten up and live right. It never crossed his mind how odd it was that our neighbor, who has one high-school age daughter, just happened to be selling a set of Legos that was identical to the ones his evil mother had cruelly thrown away just days before. When you're eight, I guess you're just happy to see your little plastic friends back where they belong in your grubby little hands.ReplyDelete
We have a candy bucket. I often threaten to throw away a piece. If I'm really mad, I threaten to throw away the whole bucket. I once dramatically threw away a pink cup from a multi-colored cup set because the girls kept fighting over who got it. They both started crying and then the older finally let the younger one have it. (After I washed it off.)ReplyDelete
I always threaten to give all the toys to "the poor kids" who will appreciate them. But my most favorite is to just say "because I said so..." So satisfying to be able to say that... so annoying to hear as a kid.ReplyDelete