|You can also eat it straight out of the jar.|
Jennifer, looking at her phone while still in bed: There’s no way Trump is going to serve out his term.
Mark: Well, you know what I think.
Jennifer: Right, you think he’s going to serve his term and get re-elected.
Mark: I think he’s going to serve all four years. Of course he is. He loves this stuff and what’s going to take him down?
Jennifer: Nope. Something is going to happen and he is going to resign. It will be sudden and swift. Let’s make a bet! You agree to go with me to the orangutan sanctuary in Borneo someday if he leaves office before his term is up. If he makes it to the end, I agree to go on the driving trip around the Great Lakes.
Mark: I’m not going to bet something that would make one of us unhappy.
Jennifer: I wouldn’t mind going to the Great Lakes.
Jennifer: You’d truly mind going to the orangutan sanctuary?
Mark: You know I would.
Jennifer: How about this: We get a dog if he leaves office, we don’t get a dog if makes it to the end.
Mark: I’m not going to bet something that would ruin our lives.
Jennifer: How about this: If he stays in office the full four years, we move to a townhouse without a yard or any animals.
The conversation petered out at this point because I get bummed thinking about the townhouse. Our imminent move to a sterile townhouse when Owen leaves is an ongoing joke that I increasingly worry is not a joke.
I went upstairs and pulled out the jar of Alton Brown’s overnight coconut oats that I mixed yesterday. I’ve been wanting to try this recipe since I first opened EveryDayCook back in December, but kept postponing because it looked incredibly fattening. I finally got tired of wondering what it tasted like.
What did it taste like? Ambrosia. The internet is packed with recipes for oats-in-a-jar that look like this one, but I have never tried any of them so I can’t say if Brown’s version is better or worse, only that it’s delicious, a creamy melange of oats, chia seeds, flaxseed meal, and nut milk topped with with crunchy coconut flakes. I ate my oats slowly, as I would a pudding, savoring every exquisite bite. I will be making this again, probably within hours.
I’ve made some adjustments to the recipe. Brown calls for 75 grams coconut milk and 75 grams almond milk — but he doesn’t specify the type of coconut milk. Does he mean the thick, rich coconut milk in a can? Or the thinner, lighter coconut milk you find in jugs in the refrigerator section of the supermarket? I went with the latter and used Califia Farms unsweetened, blended coconut and almond milk. But really, you could use any milk you want — soy, cashew, dairy. I also felt you could use less syrup and go easy on the dried fruit. I omitted cinnamon.
You need a scale for this.
Alton Brown’s Coconut Oats
150 grams mixed nut milk (see headnote)
12 grams maple syrup (or less)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
40 grams rolled oats
30 grams dried fruit (or less, or add fresh berries when you eat the oats)
2 grams chia seeds
3 grams flaxseed meal
pinch of salt
toasted coconut flakes for topping
Shake the milk, maple syrup and vanilla in a pint jar until well blended. Add everything but the coconut flakes and shake the jar again, very vigorously. Screw on the lid. Refrigerate overnight. Top with the coconut flakes. Serves one.