Thursday, May 05, 2011

Self pity is such a good look on me

Next time I'll make chocolate mousse. 
I can't really explain why my diet isn't working. It has become a source of despair and of that I am ashamed. Despairing about weight is foolish and frivolous. But I can't help it. I am despairing. A diet is a powerful metaphor for effecting change in your life and it is every bit as powerful when it doesn't work as when it does. Just in a profoundly discouraging way.

I wish I could make a joke about my feeble will power but my will power hasn't been feeble. I wish I could make jokes about my slothful habits, but my habits haven't been slothful. I've been spinning and hiking and yesterday tried something horrendous and mortifying called "Pilates Abs." I've also forbidden myself to sit down except when necessary, like to compose a blog post or watch Fringe. The other day when the temptation to sit overcame me, I baked Heidi Swanson's oat cakes from Super Natural Every Day.

I would have been better off sitting. Even sleeping.

These oat cakes are:

a. very delicious
b. very fattening

Whole grain pastries are tricky. They seem like a good idea -- oats and spelt flour, flax seeds and nuts! -- but I think a fluffy white cupcake would have been more dietetic. It's the granola syndrome: a cup of granola is more nutritious, but Frosted Flakes are less fattening.

Anyway, I can't make these again because basically all I eat now is scrambled tofu, fish, and kale.
However! If you are not a diet, I highly recommend these oat cakes. You can find the recipe here.


  1. --Oat muffins were great.
    --Random question: Why is it that some actors I've never seen before are suddenly in TV commercials for three different companies?
    --Pilates Abs sounds brutal.

  2. I hear ya sister. It was never all balloons and birthday cake in the weight department, but I held my own with some good habits until about 45. Now, at a little over 50, it's like my metabolism has up and died a slow death. I think just looking at food makes me gain weight. How is it possible to be active and not to eat anywhere near enough calories to gain a pound and still do so, or even gain two? My ancestors apparently excelled in times of famine. I'm probably getting fatter just writing about it.

  3. You're sure you're not restricting your calories too much? I know that for me, I can't increase my activity and decrease my calories at the same time. I have to trick my body by eating at the same pace while increasing the workouts, and then slowly back off the calories. And really even then I can't get it to let go of the fat stores unless I do a South Beach style zero carb thing. It sucks.

  4. I think I agree with Tori. It almost sounds like you are changing too many things. Plus, soon you will have a meltdown and eat half a cake, while sitting down and then you will feel REALLY bad.

  5. I watched what I ate and ran about 15-20 miles a week for a month...didn't loose a pound. I took a week off running and some how lost 3 pounds. I tried to convince myself that I was gaining muscle as I lost weight, after all rationalization is the key to happiness. Be patient with it, your metabolism will catch up eventually.

  6. I'm 46, 5'3, and stuck at 120 no matter what I do--doesn't budge when I cut down on calories, but oddly also doesn't budge after a fattening restaurant meal.

  7. Have you been tested for a thyroid condition? Clare

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